Sunday, September 13, 2009

Rough morning...getting better

So this morning started out with me eating, I suppose maybe to stuff feelings. I have not enjoyed this. I have been believing lies that the enemy has fed to me and now I am seeing light. I pray for discernment in this and for me to just walk each moment with the intimate relationship with God that He wants me to have, which is perfect I know. I no longer want to avoid God's best for me. I want to continue in my Thin Within Journey, just letting go. That is the most freeing feeling. To trust that in this moment, the Lord is in control and I can trust that by His Holy Spirit that lives in me, He will guide me if I rest in Him and not try to run ahead. I pray for this, for me to trust and obey.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

So that is my prayer. Despite millions of circumstances I could list out that are not going my way or the way I want, I want to stop seeking comfort in every moment and seek my comfort in the Lord. He is the anchor for my soul, He will never leave or never change. I can continually draw close to Him and He will direct my paths. I analyze so much that I analyze everything the Lord tells me until its gone.

I no longer want to do this. I don't want to listen to the "inner brat" (as I learned from flylady) who is destroying my joy, but I want to listen to the Lord gentliy guide me day by day. I can't change a thing but with Him I can rest that He will change anything and everything that He wants to change.

So here goes to a good half of the day. The part where I lean on the Lord and not on myself. No more eating outside of hunger and fullness...which is what I have been learning in this wonderful journey with the Lord eating in His boundaries. is where I am now.

I will post more later, those are my thoughts right now.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Long time

Its been a long time since I posted here. I have been discouraged because I have not "performed" to the way I know the Lord would want me to. But then I remember, this is not for me to strive to any sort of perfection, it is for me to learn how to walk in the Spirit...for as the scriptures say...

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart fail, but: God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

And the scripture that I cannot think of at the moment that talks about not by my strength but by Your Spirit. I just want to learn this...I have strived in the flesh the past few months and the total peace left, I still had peace but knew there was something off. I am now returning fully and wholly to the Lord, in brokenness and just saying change me. I quit trying to control. So freeing to surrender like that but so difficult for the flesh.

So this is the song the Lord has put on my heart since yesterday, so smiling and surrendering over and over to Him until the day of Christ Jesus!!!

10/4/12 Amazing that God put this scripture on my mind and this is the 3rd time I have read it today.  I think God wants me to know today--PSALM 73:26 MY FLESH AND MY HEART FAIL, BUT:  GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART AND MY PORTION FOREVER.

Again I will repeat :)
Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart fail, but:  God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.